Revenge and Forgiveness

I am a divorce attorney. While many of my cases involve people who have already resolved the emotional issues which must be overcome in a divorce, in many cases either my client or her spouse still has emotional work left to do. The legal issues I need to help my client resolve will then take a backseat to the emotional issues and hurt which predominate. Either my client or the spouse is so hurt or angry that the divorce becomes a vehicle for revenge.

I heard this discussion on Speaking of Faith. There is, it seems, a scientific basis which helps us to choose to forgive rather than continue in the quest for revenge. It's an interesting perspective. When my client is able to focus on her future, rather than on punishing her spouse, she is often able to resolve her divorce at a lower financial cost to her. She is able to distinguish which matters really need her investment of time and legal resources and which issues will only distract her and keep her spinning her wheels.

I feel greatly rewarded helping my clients through what is a difficult and often devastating time in their lives, and I love watching them blossom as they find closure and move into their new lives.

Today, consider the cost of revenge.